Hello, let me introduce myself. I am a big hot mess. Fortunately high-functioning. Not the greatest writer. I am starting a blog as a sort of journal, and I don't expect to be a regular poster. This is supposed to be therapeutic, right? As long as I don't have to pay an actual therapist, I'll try anything. So here's all the stuff I've struggled with in the past (and present): suicide attempts, eating disorders, drug abuse, uncontrollable rage, cutting, depression and/or some other undiagnosed mental illness, possibly ADHD.
I just realized last week that I have absolutely no empathy for other people. I can't care about other people. I know how to act like I do, and that's how I get by socially. I am currently in the first healthy relationship in my entire life. I feel like it's just a matter of time before I screw it up.
And no, this isn't me whining, it's me stating the cold hard facts. Most days I actually like myself. I think I'm pretty damn cool. The coolest person I've ever met. As I once said to my sister (who wholeheartedly agreed) "I have an enormous ego for someone with such low self esteem." Story of my life.
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